While the subject
cites education as an example, the interpretation of same is applicable to most
walks of life e.g. work environment, social environment, and so on ...
One needs to remember
that not everyone is similar. We cannot ourselves think same from one hour to
the other ... how can we then expect another individual to be like us or anyone
else ... not all of us can handle the pressures of life in a similar way ...
Life is too precious
and more importantly needs to be viewed beyond the context of success in
education, workplace, social environment, etc. Some of these aspects did not
even exist few hundred / thousands of years ago, but human life did! Every
individual can add value in different ways, which may not necessarily be within
the context of areas like education and workplace, and hence these individuals
need to be always encouraged and forgiven for their mistakes
...
A quote from Dada J.
P. Vaswani comes to mind ... "Keep on forgiving until it hurts! Atleast forgive
as many times as you would wish to be forgiven by God." Even if one does not
believe in God, all of us like to be forgiven all the time. Hence it is
important to keep forgiving, because remember, there may not be any more
opportunities with such individuals after the one time exception that one
decides to make in not forgiving them ...
I am sorry, but do
not mean to impose my views or gyan onto you ... normally I do not mean to
interpret the reading material I send, but given that this topic is in news
almost every alternate day ... I thought will convey some of my views ...
Sorry once
again.
Thank you in advance
for reading the article.
Marks are not worth
Dying – By Seema Burman
Today
as I entered the office people were distributing sweets to colleagues, some were
congratulating their relatives on phones, some were discussing career options. I
noticed one man sitting quietly, avoiding questions, evading our eyes and when
trapped by others he shrugged off saying. ‘Yes my daughter has cleared the board
but I have forgotten her percentage’. No one believed him and they gossiped and
nudged each other with their so big eyes that he quietly slipped away and
returned only after lunch.
The
question is why should everyone celebrate the results of students? It’s good
they studied hard and got good marks but it also means that those who did not do
so or could not do so should be punished or reprimanded or looked down upon.
This feeling in the society gets around to children and they feel guilty and
ashamed and so do their parents. The frustration of being labeled ‘low marks’
drives them to suicides or a low morale. As media all over and families in India
celebrate the grand total of their wards several families are hiding their faces
hoping no one will ask them what their children earned in the Board exams. Why
on earth are all of us so obsessed with high marks? Because, said one parent,
high marks ensure that the child will now get a college and subject of one’s
choice and there will be so many options available to the bright
student.
Those
with so called weak brains are unable to uplift themselves for a very long time.
It is another matter that there are several options open for everyone and one
must choose according to one’s nature. One may be good at painting or music
though the father must be contemplating that the child will take up Civil
services or medicine thus enhancing the family’s position in society. Why do
parents forget that even in painting, dance, arts or music the child can be
successful? Let’s consider there is a student who expected good marks and the
family so badly wanted the child to get high marks so that they too could be
congratulated by others and get some respect. The child did not score those
marks and a pall of gloom follows throwing each member in turmoil and depression
of various degrees. This becomes some sort of physical disease and members of
such a family find themselves surrounded by failure in each field. This happens
because they invited disappointment; they entertained failure by terming a mere
mark sheet as a big failure
The
secret is to be happy and satisfied whatever the result. When another parent
announces that his ward has scored 95% the one whose child has 59% feels tired
and exhausted. How about simply saying that though our ward scored less than
expected but he/she too has umpteen choices which will make him/her happy and
successful in life. Maybe a student with 95% marks will be so busy becoming rich
and powerful that he may not have time for family, festivals, rituals, culture,
laughter participation in others’ happiness and sadness. A powerful life means
no time for meditation and prayers. Such a life revolves around earning money
and ego. Parents should be satisfied that their ‘weak’ child will not be so busy
as to neglect them. The middle path is good and their ward will not be over busy
in life leaving them alone when they need them most.
It is
so not because he or she is weak in brains but it happened because Destiny wants
the child to be domesticated, happy, contented, self satisfied, egoless. Maybe
the child will liberate you and your forefathers. This is the child who will
look after you not the one who got best marks for be sure that the one with best
marks is going to fly out soon and bring a wife or husband in tow who might not
respect you. The happiness that comes with a bright child does not last long.
The success he/she brings along at the most lasts for a few years after which
parents lament, 'Ise layak bana diya par hum nalaayak
ban gaye'.
What
will you do with a child who on basis of his marks gets into medical, then for
ten years has no time for family, does not mix up with anyone, leaves the
country for better pastures and then confronts parents with , “My life, My Wife,
My outlook’? Isn;t it better to have a child with lesser marks so that the child
does not grow to be egoistic, is submissive, is consciously polite, is more
interested in artistic subjects, prefers doing household work, understands the
sacrifice of his parents? So celebrate even if your child has scored fewer
marks. Celebrate that the student is healthy, happy, and active and respects
elders. Celebrate because now he/she is growing up and going from school to
college.
Krishna
said it thousands of years before, ‘You are entitled to the right to perform
actions only but not at all to their outcome. Let not their likely outcome be
the objective of your actions, nor may you have an attachment to inaction’.
(2.47). It means- that you have the right to work only but not to its fruits. So
the fruits of action cannot and should not be your motive. But beware that you
should not develop attachment to inaction. The Lord is teaching the knowledge of
‘right action’. He says, ‘karmanyevadhikaraste’ - you have right to work only
but ‘Maa phaleshu kadachana’- no right for its fruits so ‘Maa karma
phalaheturbhur’- fruits should not be the motive and cautions us that, ‘Maa te
sango astvakarmani’ – we should not be attached to
inaction.
