Why Is Love So Misunderstood?

Why Is Love So Misunderstood? - Julia Fernandes

Few months back I happened to read a small piece on a well-known Hollywood actor. He was introduced to a woman in an event and what drew him to her was the fact that she refused to take his telephone number. Attitude, you may say!

This led me to think what is that makes a woman irresistible when she plays hard to get? And why is that a man is not drawn to a woman who genuinely displays affection? Is it the male chasing instinct? Men love to chase.

Recently, I was in a conversation with my friend. One of her friends gave her this advice, don’t make yourself easily available, in other words, play hard to get. If you look up on the Internet for relationship advice, you will find ample of articles, such as 5 Steps to get your man back, 7 Steps to win her over, how to avoid your ex, etc, etc, etc.

All these articles talk so much about the complexities of love and the intricacies involved that can put even the most intricate embroidery design to shame. According to the Self-help love gurus, love is everything but simple.

I may be the odd one out here. But, somehow I am unable to comprehend the little games people play in love, the hide and seek, the giving and holding back thing, the manipulation, deceit, etc. I am unable to understand when people are advised not to give it your all, to hold back, play your cards close to your chest.

How does God and babies love? 
This is definitely not the way God loves us. No. God loves us in the most simple, straight, honest and truthful way. No manipulation, no deceit, no keeping anybody guessing. His love is constant and abiding. And that is the way we ought to love each other.

Take a small baby for example. Few days back I happened to carry my neighbour’s five month old baby boy. He does not know me, but yet he gave me the broadest blush and smile. Self help love gurus teach you to not hold on too tight, learn to let go. This little chap caught hold of my dupatta tight. When I managed to free my dupatta he caught hold of my finger so tight that it took a considerable amount of time to free my finger from his tiny but firm and amazing strong grasp.

What did I learn? I learnt that in a world that teaches you not to express your feelings, needs, not to hold on tight to people in your life, this little baby taught me that love is all about holding on to what you feel is your own. You hold on and hold on tight to all that resonates with love.

So, what is love?
Love is really simple.
When you love you belong.
When you love, you love with all your body, heart, mind and soul.
When you love, you give the ones you love your undivided attention and care.
When you love, you don’t make time, you simply are there.
If you love someone say it.
If you don’t love someone, say it too. Do not mislead anyone.
Never break anyone’s heart. Never.

Finally, love is all about FREE WILL. Respect people’s free will. We can love, but we cannot impose our affections nor demand the same.