Some people are always grumbling because roses
have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses. --Alphonse
Karr
Four Great Gratitude Strategies
--by Juliana Breines , syndicated from Greater Good, Jul 27, 2015
Here
are the key research-based principles for turning gratitude into a lasting
habit, drawing from the GGSC’s new website, Greater Good in Action.
Over
the past two decades, much of the research on happiness can be boiled down to one main
prescription: give thanks. Across
hundreds of studies, practicing gratitude has been found to increase positive emotions, reduce the risk
of depression, heighten relationship
satisfaction, and increase resilience in the face of stressful life events,
among other benefits.
The
problem is, gratitude doesn’t always come naturally. The negatives in our
lives—the disappointments, resentments, and fears—sometimes occupy more of our
attention than the positives.
But
Robert Emmons, a leading scientific expert on gratitude, argues that
intentionally developing a grateful
outlook helps us both recognize
good things in our lives and realize that many of these good things are “gifts”
that we have been fortunate to receive. By making gratitude a habit, we can
begin to change the emotional tone of our lives, creating more space for joy and
connection with others.
Fortunately,
researchers have identified a number of practices for cultivating gratitude.
Many of them arecollected on the Greater Good Science Center’s new
website, Greater Good in Action (GGIA), which
features the top research-based exercises for fostering happiness, kindness,
connection, and resilience. Here I highlight GGIA’s gratitude practices, which
can be divided into four main categories.
1. Count your blessings
Some
days it feels like everything is going wrong. But often, even on bad days, good
things happen, too—we’re just less likely to notice them.
That’s
where the Three
Good Things practice comes in. This
practice involves spending 5 to 10 minutes at the end of each day writing in
detail about three things that went well that day, large or small, and also
describing why you think they happened. A 2005
study led by Martin Seligman,
founder of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania,
found that completing this exercise every day for one week led to increases in
happiness that persisted for six months.
This
simple practice is effective because it not only helps you remember and
appreciate good things that happened in the past; it can also teach you to
notice and savor positive events as they happen in the moment, and remember them
more vividly later on. By reflecting on the sources of these good things, the
idea is that you start to see a broader ecosystem of goodness around you rather
than assuming that the universe is conspiring against you.
Similar
to Three Good Things is keeping a Gratitude
Journal, which involves writing down up to five things for which you are
grateful once a week and reflecting on what these things mean to you. For this
practice, you can expand the scope of your gratitude beyond good things that
happened that day and consider positive events from your past and even those
coming up in the future. The Gratitude Journal is especially effective when you
focus on specific people you’re grateful to have—or have had—in your life.
2. Mental subtraction
In the words of Joni
Mitchell, “you don’t know what you’ve got till its gone.” But sometimes just
imagining that something is gone is enough to make you appreciate what you’ve
got.
One
way to do that is to engage in the Mental
Subtraction of Positive Events practice, which involves considering the
many ways in which important, positive events in your life—such as a job
opportunity or educational achievement—could have never taken place, and then
reflecting on what your life would be like without them.
A
series of 2008
studies led by Minkyung Koo found
that completing a 15-minute mental subtraction writing exercise led to increases
in happiness and gratitude.
Mental
subtraction can counteract the tendency to take positive events for granted and
see them as inevitable; instead, it helps you recognize how fortunate you are
that things transpired as they did.
One
variation on this practice is Mental
Subtraction of Relationships, which is similar to Mental Subtraction of
Positive Events but involves focusing specifically on important relationships,
such as close friends or romantic partners. Although it may be painful to
imagine your life without someone you care about, doing so once in a while can
serve as a reminder not to take that person for granted and may improve your
relationship as a result.
3. Savor
Ever
notice that the first bite of cake is usually the best? We have a tendency to
adapt to pleasurable things—a phenomenon called “hedonic
adaptation”—and appreciate them less and less over time. But we can
interrupt this process by trying the Give
it Up practice, which requires
temporarily giving up pleasurable activities and then coming back to them later,
this time with greater anticipation and excitement.
A 2013
study conducted by Jordi Quoidbach
and Elizabeth Dunn found that abstaining from a pleasurable activity for a week
(in this case, eating chocolate) led people to derive greater pleasure from it
and feel greater appreciation for it when they eventually indulged in it
again.
The
goal of this practice is not only to experience more pleasure but to recognize
how we take lots of pleasures for granted, and to try to savor them more. We
often assume that more is better—that the greatest enjoyment should come from
abundance and indulgence—but research suggests that some degree of scarcity and
restraint is more conducive to happiness.
But
abstaining from the pleasures in your life isn’t the only way to help you savor
them. Instead, you can try taking a Savoring
Walk.
In
the age of smartphones, it’s a common experience to walk down the street with
your eyes glued to your screen, unaware of your surroundings. But even without a
phone in hand, you may simply be distracted or in a rush, and as a result you
may miss opportunities to take in some things that can make you feel
good—beautiful or awe-inspiring scenery, acts of kindness between people,
adorable children.
The
Savoring Walk involves walking for 20 minutes by yourself once a week, ideally
taking a different route each time, paying close attention to as many positive
sights, sounds, smells, or other sensations as you can. Research by Fred Bryant
and Joseph Veroff has found that taking this kind of stroll led to an
increase in happiness one week later.
In
addition to making you feel good, becoming more attuned to your surroundings can
also give you more opportunities to connect with other people, even if it’s just
to share a smile.
4. Say “thank you”
Gratitude
can be especially powerful when it’s expressed to others. Small gestures of
appreciation, such as thank you notes, can make a difference, but there are some
things that deserve more than a fleeting “thanks!”
If
there is anyone in your life to whom you feel you’ve never properly expressed
your gratitude, writing a thoughtful, detailedGratitude Letter is a great way to increase your own feelings
of gratitude and happiness while also making the other person feel appreciated
and valued; it may also deepen your relationship with them.
The 2005
study led by Martin Seligman
described above also tested the effects of writing and delivering a gratitude
letter, finding that, of the five different practices that the researchers
tested, this practice had the greatest positive impact on happiness one month
later. Those who delivered and read the letter to the recipient in person,
rather than just mailing it, reaped the greatest benefits.
It’s
important to note, though, that six months after writing and delivering their
Gratitude Letter, participants’ happiness levels had dropped back down to where
they were before the visit. This finding reminds us that no single activity is a
panacea that can permanently alter happiness levels after just one attempt.
Instead, gratitude practices and other happiness-inducing activities need to be
practiced regularly over time, ideally with some variety to avoid hedonic
adaptation.
And
because not every practice will feel right for everyone, it’s worth trying
out as many practices as you can to
find the ones that work best for you. The gratitude practices you’ll find on
Greater Good in Action are as reliable a place to start as any.
Be The Change: This week try
adopting one of the strategies suggested in the article, and see what effect it
has on your state of being.
