How Is Your Heart Doing? - Omid Safi
In many Muslim cultures, when you want to ask them how they’re doing, you
ask: in Arabic, Kayf haal-ik? or, in Persian, Haal-e shomaa chetoreh? How is
yourhaal?
What is this haal that you inquire about? It is the transient state of
one’s heart. In reality, we ask, “How is your heart doing at this very moment,
at this breath?” When I ask, “How are you?” that is really what I want to
know.
I am not asking how many items are on your to-do list, nor asking how many
items are in your in-box. I want to know how your heart is doing, at this very
moment. Tell me. Tell me your heart is joyous, tell me your heart is aching,
tell me your heart is sad, tell me your heart craves a human touch. Examine your
own heart, explore your soul, and then tell me something about your heart and
your soul.
Tell me you remember you are still a human being, not just a human doing.
Tell me you’re more than just a machine, checking off items from your to-do
list. Have that conversation, that glance, that touch. Be a healing
conversation, one filled with grace and presence.
Put your hand on my arm, look me in the eye, and connect with me for one
second. Tell me something about your heart, and awaken my heart. Help me
remember that I too am a full and complete human being, a human being who also
craves a human touch.
I teach at a university where many students pride themselves on the “study
hard, party hard” lifestyle. This might be a reflection of many of our
lifestyles and our busyness — that even our means of relaxation is itself a
reflection of that same world of over stimulation. Our relaxation often takes
the form of action-filled (yet mindless) films, or violent and fast-paced
sports.
I don’t have any magical solutions. All I know is that we are losing the
ability to live a truly human life.
We need a different relationship to work, to technology. We know what we
want: a meaningful life, a sense of community, a balanced existence. It’s not
just about “leaning in” or faster iPhones. We want to be truly human.
W. B. Yeats once wrote, "It takes more courage to examine the dark corners
of your own soul than it does for a solider to fight on a battlefield."
How exactly are we supposed to examine the dark corners of our soul when we
are so busy? How are we supposed to live the examined life?
I want us to have a kind of existence where we can pause, look each other
in the eye […] and inquire together: Here is how my heart is doing. […]
How is the state of your heart today?
Let us insist on a type of human-to-human connection where when one of us
responds by saying, “I am just so busy,” we can follow up by saying, “I know,
love. We all are. But I want to know how your heart is doing.”
