If a man going down into a river, swollen and
swiftly flowing, is carried away by the current -- how can he help others
across? --Buddha
How Anxiety Reduces Empathy
--by Kira
M. Newman, syndicated from Greater
Good, Jul 12, 2016
One
afternoon in Dublin, I found myself running through the airport, convinced I was
about to miss a flight for the first time in my life.
My
anxiety surged at the sight of a long security line, but luckily an airport
official ushered me to the front. I didn’t care how the waiting passengers felt
about my preferential treatment, and I don’t remember much about the people I
encountered during that nerve-wracking afternoon. I was thinking only about my
goal: to get home.
In
short, my empathy for others plummeted as my anxiety mounted—and a recent paper helps
explain this phenomenon by linking anxiety to egocentrism. In doing so, it
provides yet another reason why cultivating empathy is so crucial.
In
a series of six studies with more than 1,300 total participants, researchers
from universities including Harvard and Columbia induced anxiety, anger,
disgust, surprise, or pride in participants by asking them to write about a past
experience when they felt one of those emotions. (Some participants did nothing
or wrote about how they typically spend their evenings, generating a neutral
feeling.)
Then,
participants were tested on perspective taking. In one study, they specified
whether a book placed on their right side (but someone else’s left) was on the
right or left side of a table. In another, they indicated the position of a
green light from their perspective and someone else’s.
In
a third, they had to figure out whether the recipient of an email would read it
as sincere, when they had privileged information suggesting it was sarcastic. In
yet another experiment, they read scenarios like the one below and filled in the
blank as quickly as possible:
Anna made lasagna in the blue dish. After Anna left, Ian came home and ate the lasagna. Then he filled the blue dish with spaghetti and replaced it in the fridge. Anna thinks the blue dish contains (lasagna/spaghetti).
In
these studies, participants who were feeling anxious or surprised were more
likely to give the egocentric answer—or take longer to answer from someone
else’s perspective—than those who were feeling angry, disgusted, proud, or
neutral. In other words, the stressed people had trouble seeing things from
another’s point of view: I
know the blue dish contains spaghetti, so Anna must know, too. And the more
anxious they were, the more egocentric they became. (On questions that didn’t
involve perspective taking, they didn’t perform any worse than the other
participants.)
The
finding that anxiety and surprise increased egocentrism was, well,
surprising—particularly when the self-focused emotion of pride did not.
Why
was this happening? The researchers found a clue in a final pair of studies:
Participants were also more egocentric after induced to feel uncertain, and
surprise and anxiety are both associated with uncertainty. While anger makes us
certain in our righteous indignation, anxiety and surprise make us unsure of
what’s going on and what will happen next. And when we feel uncertain, we tend
to fall back on what we know to be true—namely, our own perspectives and
feelings.
Although
Anna’s lasagna might not seem particularly relevant in the grand scheme of
things, these findings point to a disturbing possibility. If our stress-filled
lives generate more moments of anxiety, that means our perspective taking is
routinely compromised—and with it, part of our ability to empathize and connect
with others.
Now
more than ever, we need to train our empathy muscles. Consider trying these
science-based practices, particularly if you’re prone to anxiety:
Active Listening:
Listen better and express active interest in your conversational partner, making
them feel heard and understood.
Shared Identity:
Think of someone who is very different from you, and then try to imagine all the
ways that you two are similar—seeing them as an individual, not an out-group
member.
Mindful
Breathing: Focus attention on your own breathing to cultivate awareness.
That
day in Dublin, I caught my flight. I also learned a lesson in empathy. No one
wants to live life as if they’re constantly late for a plane, too stressed to
look around and connect with others. We’re much better off cultivating empathy,
building connection, and accepting that what will be, will be—missed flights and
all.
This
article generated controversy among Greater Good readers on social media. Read
about it and gain more context for this study in “What
is the Relationship Between Stress and Empathy?”
Be The Change: Breathe deeply and listen to
others carefully to combat anxiety and egocentrism in stressful
situations.
